Couples Work

You may love each other, but keep getting stuck in the same fight. You may feel distant, resentful, disconnected, or unsure how to repair after hurt. You may be trying to navigate sex, trust, parenting, money, communication, family dynamics, or a major life transition.

Couples therapy is a space to slow the pattern down, understand what is happening underneath it, and find a more honest and connected way forward.

My work with couples is informed by Emotionally Focused Therapy, attachment theory, object relations, Jungian/depth psychology, and systems thinking. In plain language, that means I look at both the emotional cycle between you and the deeper histories, fears, roles, and longings each person brings into the relationship.

I am interested in the relationship as a system, but I am also interested in the person inside the relationship.

Each partner has their own developmental arc: their history, fears, family roles, protective strategies, longings, and emerging selfhood. Sometimes couples are not simply “fighting.” They are standing at the intersection of two different growth journeys.

One person may be learning how to trust.
One may be learning how to speak up.
One may be learning how to take responsibility.
One may be learning how to stay connected without losing themselves.

In therapy, we explore where your individual journeys align, where they clash, and what the relationship is asking each of you to grow into.

What We May Focus On

Couples often come to therapy for support with:

  • Recurring conflict, shutdown, or emotional disconnection

  • Attachment wounds, insecurity, resentment, or fear of abandonment

  • Repair after betrayal, secrecy, broken trust, or accumulated hurt

  • Sex, desire differences, shame, avoidance, or changing attraction

  • Neurodivergence, sensory needs, executive functioning differences, or mismatched processing styles

  • Family-of-origin patterns that keep repeating in the relationship

  • Power dynamics, gender roles, emotional labor, and invisible expectations

  • Queer, polyamorous, ENM, or non-traditional relationship dynamics

  • Major transitions: parenting, grief, infertility, moving, career change, or restructuring the relationship

  • Deciding whether to recommit, change the structure, separate, or end with care

Sometimes the work is practical: communication, agreements, boundaries, repair, and conflict skills.

Sometimes it is deeper: attachment, grief, trauma, identity, culture, family systems, and the old templates each person brings into love.

Usually, it is both.